yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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