I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
