i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
