Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
