I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
