Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
