Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
