happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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