I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
