Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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