Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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