We got so high we made milksteak
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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