She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
