Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
farters have to be the big spoon...
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
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