Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize