Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
