ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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