White coat. Heels.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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