i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
