Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I know her cup size but not her name....
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