My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
