my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
