but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
