piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I want to have your abortion
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
