Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
