So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I'm passing your future prison.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
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