I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
