I forgot how hot balto sounded
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I need a beard to bite.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
