If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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