You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Randomize
