What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Just pee around me
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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