At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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