Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
