I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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