Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
