you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
