I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
