WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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