Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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