We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
