Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize