Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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