gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Best friends brother. Beat that.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Everyone says I win the strip club
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
