apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
