Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
