I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
