Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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