As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
