Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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