He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
