She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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