New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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