Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
