i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
