i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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