Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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