i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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