yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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