Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
