he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
