i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
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