okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
