If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
